Yesterday, the U.S. Agriculture and Health and Human Services departments released new Dietary Guidelines for Americans. There are no surprises in it, really, unless you’re an Atkins or South Beach (or other faddish diet) believer. Essentially, it boils down to what they are pretending is “common sense” — more fruits and veggies, more grains and fibre, less meat and fat, watch your caloric intake, and exercise more. If it were common sense, however, one would think that this sort of diet would be more…common. Not so.

There are a lot of articles talking about these new guidelines, but the following excerpt from this one made me laugh:

“Do not panic at the thought of consuming five cups of fruits and vegetables per day. Have a cup of juice or a large piece of fruit for breakfast, have vegetable soup or a salad with lunch, two cups of vegetables with dinner and snack or a piece of fruit at some other time during the day and you will have done it!”

While I’m a recently-minted fan of more healthy eating, 5 cups of fruits and vegetables, no matter what form they take, has more volume than what I eat in a normal day (I’m not thin because I eat well, I’m thin because I don’t eat much). The juice is a good suggestion, but on top of the 8 glasses of water I’m (supposed) to be downing, it’s no less daunting.

I doubt any of this will have any significant impact on the overall eating habits of North Americans. It’s not like this has made eating properly any less complicated (it’s really not) or time consuming (another myth). The basic fact of the matter is: fat is yummy, fast food is convenient, and we’re all basically just lazy and/or over-scheduled.

Someone needs to come up with a more practical set of guidelines, I think — a straight-up, no-nonsense HOWTO that not only teaches us how and what to eat, but also how to get into the habit of doing this on a daily basis as part of a normal routine without feeling like we’re depriving ourselves. And without calling it a “diet”. People don’t like diets.